In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
