My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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