You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
