Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
my poor anus
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
