just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
