Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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