My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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