One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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