are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
