one two three fourrrrnication!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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