I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
