if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
