They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
