sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
