I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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