if i can run in heels then i can drive
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
