Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
