Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
