you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
