Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
