There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
