okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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