woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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