i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
