Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
