i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
