So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
