Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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