I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
