I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
