I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
