i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
