The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
