So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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