dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
