piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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