she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
