Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i out mim tonsoeep
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