I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
