and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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