Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
