so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
