found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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