Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
