Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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