she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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