I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
