Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
