we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
