My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
